Saturday, October 11, 2008

The Tuna Lecture

Right now, the entire Canada-House smells like tuna fish.

It has been smelling of tuna fish for about an hour and a half; I distinctly remember it beginning after one flatmate made a sandwich.  This flatmate in particular can be especially obnoxious, but that is probably a story or two for another day.  I surmised that the tuna-smell was likely his fault, as he is incapable of functioning in any sort of polite society despite the fact that he is over 20 years old.

I walk down stairs to get some Airborne, swathed in my American germ paranoia, and say in general to the flatmates gathered around the tv, "Why does the entire house smell like tuna fish?"

Flatmates 1 and 2, "I don't know."

Offender-Flatmate, "That's what that smell is!!!  Huh!!!  I don't know."

I walk into the kitchen and get some water for the aforementioned Airborne.  I notice, in the bottom of the sink, the stuff that remains when you drain the water from a tuna can - the fishy water with all the little tiny tuna pieces in it.  This is all over the sink basin, not washed away as it should have been.  I briefly glance into the garbage can.  In it rests the tuna can, unrinsed, little bits of tuna clinging to the insides and along the rim.  I rinse the sink, but leave the can.

I know whose work this is.  And in order to prevent future tuna-scents from permeating my freshly laundered clothing, I proceed back to the living room and deliver a lecture on the proper methods for dealing with tuna.  I give this entire speech staring into the air over all of their heads, as though I am mentally reading aloud some sort of scientific paper.

"I know why it smells like tuna fish.  When you squeeze the can to drain the water out into the sink, make sure that you rinse all the liquid and little bits down into the sink.  That way no tuna remains to generate the smell.  Also, it works well to rinse the can out too.  What is really best is to rinse the can out and then immediately place it into the recycling bin outside, on the porch.  That way the entire house will not smell like tuna fish."

This was followed by a comment from one of the non-offenders, "Or easier yet, don't eat tuna."

The Tuna Eater sat in silence, and I headed back upstairs.  Hopefully this will not happen again, or there will be some face-punching.  
As in me, punching Tuna Eater in the face.


Lea said...

Cats are very handy for taking care of "tuna juice." Trust me, no tuna lingers in this house. Never a need to rinse tuna bits down the drain! Then again, you can't eat a tuna sandwich in peace either. It's a trade off.

Mum said...

Lucky for you, your mother taught you how to dispose of the waste tuna tidbits and the can properly. Alas, I feel you need more training in your approach with the uninformed international set. I'm glad that you did not use your Godfather's approach, "You stupid, or what?" It's wise that you did not pursue a teaching career.

Ynn said...

The previous comments find me in total agreement. First, a cat would completely take care of the tuna problem. Well, except for Kami who would only eat tuna when mixed with chopped egg, pickle, olives,celery and mayonaise for tuna salad. And Frank would have had a few more well chosen words to add since he refuses to eat (or smell) what he calls "condensed fish."

mamamia4859 said...

Yes, there is no doubt, discarded tuna cans and remnants can pose a problem. Thank goodness your mother taught you the proper and acceptable tuna disposal techniques. As I often tell my daughter, you will be amazed at the little things your mom teaches you over the years. You know, the ones that you roll your eyes over. She now appreciates my fastidious ways when she sees how others have been raised, or not raised as the case may be.