America's Birthday: Art Objects

The highlight of the Brockway Old Fashioned Fourth of July Celebration is without a doubt the Old Fashioned Fourth of July Art (and Occasionally Quilt) Show. Michael and I always enter at least one piece in the art show (my entries tend to confuse them, as they are often uncertain which categories the works belong in...) and we frequently win prizes. We're both exceedingly modest as well.

This means that we have an excellent notion of what pleases the judges. This year, Michael was sure to win best of show: he was entering a photograph of the babies. They love babies. (For my entries, please follow this link.)

But this year we were appalled at the results! Usually you can tell that the judges have some sort of artistic background. But this year prizes were apparently awarded not based upon any sort of artistic-merit system, but upon whether or not they would look good in the judge's living room. And the whole exhibition was hung terribly. My brother's mentally challenged puppy dog could hang a better show.

Any ribbons on this? Or any of mine? No!

Let's take a look at some things that did win prizes...

Second place, photography division. This is a photograph of a crab. I could take this picture with my eyes closed. And let's not get started on the framing. You can see my legs reflected on the glazing, because it was hung so low to the ground that it was at knee-level.

Honorable mention, photography division. A lopsided portrait of a beagle. The crooked hanging kills me. You also literally needed to crouch on the floor to look at it, that is how low it was hung. Also - it is a beagle. WTF?

This was in the 'Other' category - someplace my pieces frequently end up. It is some sort of dream-catcher meets coonskin cap. Fortunately the artist has put a handwritten manifesto of sorts next to it identifying it as a 'mandella'. (If you look up 'mandella' on the OED I'm certain that it will define the term as a misspelling of 'mandala'.)

This was my favorite piece, something worthy of Napoleon Dynamite himself. I really hope you can all get a good look at it. The title, I think, is 'Dragons'.

I'm all for Michael and I doing the judging next year. We'll have to exhibit our own work just as exhibition pieces, which is fine. Just as long as we could hang the show ourselves.