Flatmate Andrea originally didn't know I would be so easy to convince, Ikea-trip-wise. She first attempted to tempt me into going.
Flatmate Andrea: Oooo! Ikea! And we can get some hot dogs there!
Flatmate Andrea: Yes! Ikea hot dogs! Fifty-cents each! Why not?
Me: NO. I don't eat boiled hot dogs. I only eat hot dogs if they are cooked over a fire.
She was really confused about my refusal to entertain the idea of eating an Ikea hot dog. (I did not take this picture. Clearly, as I did not even touch an Ikea hot dog).
I did wonder if they too were made from glue and sawdust and if they had some bizarre Nordic name like 'DOGGEN' or 'HOTJA' - complete with umlauts and other comically exotic Nordic vowel modifiers. All the Ikea food comes with some sort of dark blue wrapping labeled 'IKEA FOOD' in that same terrible faux-pine veneer equivalent of typography.
And to top it off, Ikea was full of parents and children, running around, all of them eating 50-cent Ikea hot dogs, screaming and touching everything and walking very slowly through the maze that is Ikea. So I couldn't even get out of there as fast as I wanted to. It was terrible.