Monday, May 18, 2009

Ikea Food

Yesterday Flatmate Andrea wanted to go to Ikea and I was like, "I'll drive.  We'll go to Ikea and then to the grocery."  Which was fine, excepting that we didn't leave until way later in the day than usual (and than I wanted to).  I didn't want anything there (Ikea), but I did want to go to the grocery.  I never want to go to Ikea.

Flatmate Andrea originally didn't know I would be so easy to convince, Ikea-trip-wise.  She first attempted to tempt me into going.

Flatmate Andrea: Oooo!  Ikea!  And we can get some hot dogs there!

Me: NO.

Flatmate Andrea: Yes!  Ikea hot dogs!  Fifty-cents each!  Why not?

Me: NO.  I don't eat boiled hot dogs.  I only eat hot dogs if they are cooked over a fire.

She was really confused about my refusal to entertain the idea of eating an Ikea hot dog.  (I did not take this picture.  Clearly, as I did not even touch an Ikea hot dog).  

I did wonder if they too were made from glue and sawdust and if they had some bizarre Nordic name like 'DOGGEN' or 'HOTJA' - complete with umlauts and other comically exotic Nordic vowel modifiers.  All the Ikea food comes with some sort of dark blue wrapping labeled 'IKEA FOOD' in that same terrible faux-pine veneer equivalent of typography.  

And to top it off, Ikea was full of parents and children, running around, all of them eating 50-cent Ikea hot dogs, screaming and touching everything and walking very slowly through the maze that is Ikea.  So I couldn't even get out of there as fast as I wanted to.  It was terrible.


Joe K said...

Speaking of hot dogs. The grandparents had me stop at the tasty Freeze today so they could get hot dogs after their doctors appointment.

Mary Ann said...

I had my first Ikea experience a few months back. We were near the airport and passed by an Ikea and since I had never been to one, I insisted that we stop so that I could have the experience. Your apt description says it all. Fortunately, I did not have a hot dog, but did get temporarily lost in the maze and there were unruly children in my midst. I did buy a stainless steel utensil holder for my kitchen which was very functional.

Lea said...

Never fear Big Bean, I'll cook you a real hot dog at the rehearsal dinner if you need it. Unruly children do tend to ruin shopping excursions. Sometimes IKEA is too much for me too.

Ynn said...

They look like the hot dogs they serve in the school cafeteria. Slightly better color as ours have been boiled or steamed long enough to be slightly greenish-grey. I wouldn't consume either of them!